The Internets is bloggin’ down my you-know-what about “the next” financial crisis. It’s debt that, bankruptcy this, bailout whatever, statistical that, collapsing bunga-bungas, Greece yadayada, Euro yadayada, bomb Mars with golden cows, blah-blah. The rich are actually planning on building their own artificial escape islands, the middle class reads survivalblog and visits their local army surplus, and whatever. So everyone wants to be the next harbinger foolishly “predicting” the withering of this system.
I personally think many folks are jumping on the doom-wagon because they secretly (or subconsciously?) hate capitalism, and want it to die. But, perhaps they are so eager to point out the obvious inevitability of decline because it makes them feel smarter for not seeing the last one, or consoles their helpless minds in the face of their own financial/mental deterioration. The whole game is like betting on which cockroach will fall off the wall first.
So, for the sole reason that I am not an “economist,” or a “financial expert,” or a doomsayer, you should listen to my valuable advice regarding this “economy.” I’ll have to use a lot of “quote-un-quotes” awhile I do this, cause its not clear if any of the things I’m going to talk about actually exist. I write that seriously, without any humor, due to the fact that digital representations of trillions of dollars, or ambiguous corporate statistics are little more than ephemeral nihilistic doodles.
The symbolic altar at the center of America’s political, financial, and symbolic decline, is the National Debt Clock in good ol’ shake-down-town-New-York-City. Whenever I say the words “New-York-City” I can’t help but do it with a hick southern accent.
Some parasitic doom institution maintains America’s crappy digital wristwatch. A watch that appropriately runs on the praxis, parallax, and paradoxical inverse of money, – debt creation. So, what can this huge arbitrary computer-generated number tell us about modern “economics.” Well, it just keeps on fucking getting bigger, counting away up into the edge of the damn universe.
Every once in awhile, people may notice that the number has changed quite a bit – as far as them numbers go. So, all the “economists” and “experts” and politicians get together and decide to make more numbers. People nod, it keeps going, the sun rises, and the “debt-limit” gets bigger. That’s it. That’s what it is!
Some guys like Ron Paul want to turn the debt clock back! They say that’ll “do it.” Although they’re well meaning, I think these guys are lost in the time continuum. You see, we can’t turn back the debt clock. Nobody in power actually wants to shed the national debt. That’s because if the debt goes away, the whole system fails. The system is based on irrational expansion, the creation of debt, the manipulation of interest, the issuance of “money,” and that’s our damn number-thing for it!
If they want to do some stocks or extend some number-limits, fine! Why not? Why not go mug old ladies in the street? Go “bailout” something with a quadrillion numbers! Haven’t you ever heard of Keynes? Heard of economics? What about Trickle-Down? I’m trickle-downing all over computer charts, basically everything. That’s the fabric of EXISTENCE to the lunatic class that lives under the “number-clock-debt-machine-whatever.” So, that clock is actually an existential meter for the existence of the system itself. Its not a number, it’s the survival of an idea. And it should only frighten those who worship it like some Biblical countdown to Judgment Day.
Anybody who works in a clock-shop can tell you that some things are too broken to fix. Some crazy folk would argue that it’s not even broken, so why fix it? The answer to all this sophisticated fiduciary debating is the same.
So- what the hell is my advice? Here it is:
That’s right…. nothing. My advice to you is nothing.
When capitalism’s ticker quits, that clock stops, and this motherfucker keels over, there will be no reason to be doom-freaking. There is no investment to speculate for either, because it marks the end of investment; no gold, no offshore banks, no stupid little tricks, – the fucking end of capitalism.
So just don’t worry – be happy. The death of capitalism can be a both entertaining and empowering event, especially if you’re as poor as I am.
